A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
