Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
