We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
