Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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