i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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