Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
