Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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