last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
