I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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