I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
