She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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