And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just pee around me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
