I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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