Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
