you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
