I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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