we have officially lost it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
