If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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