If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
