so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what day is it and did you see me today?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I AM VODKA MAN
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
