today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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