okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
