Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
