why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
