ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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