hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
