What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
