You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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