I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
3 2 1 whiskey
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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