My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
