if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
