People in love make me want to vomit
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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