Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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