I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
