i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
