she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
