So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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