he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dicks are not precious.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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