two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
