I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
