I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We got so high we made milksteak
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
