On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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