Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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