Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
