Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
