youre lurking in front of me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
id be glad to
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
