i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
