I wish life had little blips of pornography
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
