Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
