Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
