Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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