She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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