actually, I'm a sock model
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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