How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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