hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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