i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
