Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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