Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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