i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
