i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize