And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
