I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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