This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Fuck appropriateness.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
