Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
