I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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