She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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